Are you ready for sex?
Sometimes it feels like everyone around you has had sex or “doing it”. This is often not true.
Believe it or not:
- Most people have sex for the first time when they're 16 or older.
- If someone says they have had sex, they may not be telling the truth.
And being ready happens at different times for everyone.
Working out whether you're ready to have sex for the first time is something only you can decide.
- Does it feel right?
- Have we talked about having sex and did we agree?
- Have we talked about contraception and did we agree?
- Have we got contraception to protect against pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infection's (STI's)?
- Do I feel I can say no at any time and will we both be OK with that?
If you answer yes to all of these questions, the time might be right for you.
But if you answer yes to any of the following questions, you may not be ready:
- Do you feel under pressure to have sex from your friend's or partner?
- Could you regret it afterwards?
- Are you thinking about having sex to impress your friend's or keep up with them?
- Are you thinking about having sex so that your partner stays with you?
Talk to your partner about whether it's the right time. Being able to talk to one another is important in any relationship.
When talking about sex can be embarrassing but there are lots of things you both need to talk about, such as:
- Are you both ready?
- Will you be having sex for the right reasons or because you are under pressure from someone?
- Sex is a big deal on top of all of the relationship stuff there's STI's and unplanned pregnancy to worry about! So talk about contraception and condoms before you have sex.
- Ask yourself - If you can't talk about safer sex with your partner is it the right time to have sex.
- If your partner doesn't want to have sex with a condom that helps protect you both from pregnancy and STI's they may not be the right person to have sex with.
Being pressured to have sex?
- If you have sex because you're pressured into it you might regret it later.
- It won't make your partner like you more or stay with you.
- If anyone tries to pressure you into having sex and ignores your feelings - do they really like you?
Nobody should make you feel pressurised or uncomfortable to do something that you don’t wat to do or are unsure of.
If you feel under pressure to have sex you might want to talk to somebody.This could be your mum; dad; friend; or a trusted adult.